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OK, let’s assume she agreed to go on a запознанства with someone you like. Hopefully, you remembered to shower, wear deodorant, and brush your teeth. You should be wearing clean socks and underwear (if you are into that sort of thing).

If you haven’t come up with anything more exciting to do, it’s possible dinner and the movie went well. Your date hasn’t suffered anaphylaxis while dining at the restaurant, and she hasn’t sprained her ankle on the super-sized soda abandoned in the theater aisle. You may be able to get her back to your place to watch another movie, play video games or play with your cat, dog, tarantula, goldfish, or whatever…

Now, come on guys… This morning you knew you had a date. You probably figured you wouldn’t get lucky, but there’s always a chance. Take a moment… Take a few moments; even just say “I am going to take a half-hour to straighten up as much as I can”. It’s understandable, if you have roommates, you can’t be expected to clean up after ‘everyone’. If your date has met them, she has figured out they are natural-born slobs. Your date is not your ‘mother’, but you want her to be comfortable.

Let’s do some basic stuff here. You should clean the toilet. She is going to have to sit with her bare bottom on that seat. She needs toilet paper. Don’t buy the cheap kind that sticks everywhere. You might have to lick that off her later. Bring out the clean towel, which you’ve been saving for ‘that special occasion’. Heck, why not have a few clean towels? There is a possibility, if towels are available, the two of you could shower together. Imagine soap and suds flowing down hard nipples, attached to perky breasts. Yeah, you can take a few extra moments to wash those towels. Unless you are into the ‘Clan of the Cave Bear’ cavewoman look, you should also invest in conditioner.

Clean the cat box, and sweep the floor. If all goes well, she will be walking around your place barefoot. Foot play is much more sensual without crud and kitty litter stuck between your toes.

Now, for your bedroom… Let’s keep the skid marked stained boxers and briefs buried in the hamper. Clear a pathway on your floor. She won’t be able to navigate between the fast-food wrappers and porn magazines, in the dark, as well as you can. You need to put this junk away. And for God’s sake … Put clean sheets on the bed! You don’t want her hovered in the corner, avoiding some mysterious stain. You want her sprawled out, spread eagle, on that thing.

OK, so you got her inside your house. You look around admiring her fine handiwork. I honestly don’t know how you are going to make your next move. I am not very forward. I typically wait for the guy to take the first step. Most girls have a three to five date rule, so you may not want to unzip those pants just yet.

Make sure she is warm. You might be able to casually work it in so you can keep her warm with your body. Just keep it natural, and don’t be a jerk. Sit close, but don’t squish her up against the wall so her neck is strained to an uncomfortable angle.

Make yourself comfortable. Take off your shoes. Hopefully, she will do the same. If the two of you walked a lot earlier, you could offer to rub her feet. She wore those uncomfortable shoes for your benefit.

Give her something to drink. Offer alcoholic and nonalcoholic beverages, so she doesn’t think you are getting her wasted to take advantage of her. But hey, if she chooses the alcohol, there is a chance she might choose to stay the night. You will be happy you took those few extra moments to change the sheets. I am not condoning having sex with her when she is completely intoxicated. However, if she agrees to ‘sleep’ in the same bed as you, it’s usually acceptable to spoon.

Place some snacks on the coffee table. She probably doesn’t want to make herself at home in your kitchen, just yet. Maybe you both just ate triple cheeseburgers with milkshakes, and she doesn’t want to ask, “Hey what do you have to snack on?” She is trying to impress you too, and she doesn’t want you to think she is a complete chowhound. Having a beverage and something to snack on, keeps you feeling hydrated, and prevents your mouth from tasting like puke. The snack can be anything; chips, pretzels, dry cereal, toasted tortilla strips… Just put ‘something’ out there.

Now, until you decide it’s the ‘right’ time to make your move, you need to find something to do. Is she a gamer? You should stick to Co-op based games, such as ‘Left for Dead’ or ‘Borderlands’. You could even pull out one of those dusty board games. Can’t afford a mortgage on those Monopoly houses? You might have to make other arrangements. What type of arrangements? Use your imagination. Search for something to watch on Netflix, TV, or play a popular movie. It is probably too early in your relationship to put on, ‘Pizza Delivery to Nubile Sluts Part 6’. If I am on your sofa, I don’t want to watch sports. If being a sports fan is a requirement and means more to you than being intimate, you could turn on the game. This will weed out girls who are not your ‘perfect’ match. This is entirely up to you, but I don’t recommend it. This is your opportunity to get to know this woman. Save the sports for when you are spending time with the guys.

If there is real estate on your kitchen counters, you could impress her by baking something. Most girls dig chocolate. Cake and brownie mix typically cost .99 cents at the grocery store. They usually require an egg and vegetable oil. It’s all fairly basic. There are simple directions on the side of the box, and it’s something the two of you can do together.

Most importantly have fun. You may not get any action on this date, but hopefully, she will remember having a good time. She won’t think you were a total stinky slob. She won’t leave with the uncomfortable feeling of cottonmouth because you didn’t offer her something to drink. She won’t recall being terrified of having to have to pee in your filthy bathroom. You may not have a lot of money or even own a car, but these small endeavors could make all the difference for scoring with that girl. It doesn’t hurt to compliment her by putting forth that extra effort.