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I hate Facebook. There, I said it. It’s out in the open for all you Facebook-lovers to see. It has been confirmed that I am a minority and if you feel my pain then join me in my quest for Facebook abstinence. I’ve been clean for years now, ever since the first time someone mentioned Facebook at my university and I thought to myself, “Weird.” While that’s still at the core of my feelings, this would be a ridiculously short article if I were to end it there. So I won’t.

As we all know or you may have heard, the Internet has been absolutely slammed with social networking sites where we can all sign up and look at each other’s pages, laugh, cry, gossip, and post trite messages to one another instead of calling on the phone or having a coffee together because that might get awkward. There are a select few, of which I am one, who would refer to this social networking fad as “sketchy.” A lot more sketchy and personal than meeting friends for coffee. And that’s where it gets real weird. I know a lot of people who put more personal information on their Facebook page than you could ever know by talking with them or even consistently befriending them over the period of a couple of years. Thoughts of suicide, details of a current or past relationship, childhood stories that have shaped who they have become, confessions of eating disorders, and much much much much more. Too much more. I can’t wait for the online counseling website that becomes the next online craze.

Well, I have to be honest. Last week, I signed up for Facebook. But as I was signing up I realized I didn’t want to say anything about myself and my page would, as a result, be extremely boring. So, I did what any Facebook-hater would do: I signed up as someone else. David Cook. That’s right, I am the rock star from American Idol here to make you my friend (f you’re in my network) and tell you “my” deepest, darkest secrets. If that’s not the essential definition of “sketchy” than I need a new dictionary. I am David Cook and nobody can tell me that I’m not. Nobody knows that this dorky guy from Boston who has no interest in American Idol is none other than David Cook from American Idol. I have tons of friends and update the page regularly and every single one of my “friends” thinks I am really the cool, bearded rock star hanging out with Ryan Seacrest and that mean British guy. But the problem is that, nowadays, there are now several tools where people can actually see your profile even if your setting is private. One of these tools is This is one of the highly services by a lot of IG users.

Does this frighten you as it frightens me? Perhaps next week I’ll open an account for Miley Cyrus, Hilary Clinton, or maybe even…YOU!